When you are in love with someone it is very difficult to know if the feeling is mutual. Falling in love can sometimes mean that things are seen through a pair of rose colour glasses. Behaviour and body language is sometimes confused with something completely different. You can only lie to yourself only for so long. If the woman you are with does not come out and is honest about how she feels about you then it’s time to look at the signs. She may be sticking around because she does not know how to end the relationship. There is also the fear of being alone or feeling confident and fulfilled by all the attention being given to her.
Nonetheless, you have to think about your feelings and your well-being first and foremost. Here are some signs that will tell you is she cares about you. Does she like being touched by you? Does she find a reason to pull away? She does not need to be the clingy type to show affection. Pulling away or appearing annoyed at all the physical contact is a huge red flag. Physical intimacy is part of a healthy relationship. She downplays who you are in her life.
When she introduces you to others she refers to you as just a friend. If you have already brought up this concern and she keeps doing it, then she is telling you she does not see you as her romantic partner. She rules the relationship like a dictator. She does not know the meaning of “compromise.” Everything is done her way or she blows up and calls you selfish. She won’t end a discussion or argument until you do what she says. Her calendar is too busy to pencil you in. Neither you nor her should give up seeing your friends and do the things that make you happy. The problem is that she is not willing to adjust her schedule to make time for the two of you. No one is ever too busy to stop spending time together.
You end up feeling alone and defeated. And she doesn’t even notice. How much love and affection are you really getting? Taking care of all her needs and making sure she is happy leaves you exhausted and unhappy. It’s time to reassess your priorities. She plans group or double dates. All the time. If she is totally bored when the date consists of just the two of you, she may be telling you she just wants to be friends. Group dates are fun except when that is all you are doing. She wants nothing to do with you in group gatherings. If she runs off as soon as you show up to a social gathering together it may mean two things; she either needed a ride or didn’t want to show up alone. She never puts her mobile down and you have no idea who she’s talking to. That mobile phone is constantly being used. She keeps telling you it’s just a friend but the way she dodges your questions makes you suspicious. Follow your gut when something does not feel right. Notice the way she interacts with other guys. Giving other men her undivided attention over you means she does not have eyes for you only. Pay attention to how she speak to other guys in comparison to you. You never measure up and are constantly compared to others. When she talks about other guys she is not shy to highlight their accomplishments. The amount of money they make, the clothes they wear, and even their good looks. It feels like she is secretly wishing you were more like the other guys. She never feels threatened or she just doesn’t care to. A jealous girlfriend is never a good thing but neither is her indifference. She does not seem bothered when other women show interest in you. She is totally unfazed if she catches you flirting with someone else. The smallest disagreement turns into a big production. Arguments and disagreements are totally natural in a relationship. A quarrel is actually healthy because it allows you both to work through things that are not working in the relationship. But when there is more and more fighting and no resolution, take a step back. Abuse and violence is never okay. Men have been taught to never strike a woman or become threatening and physical. This applies to women as well. It doesn’t matter how mad she gets or if she is smaller than you, hitting is not okay. You have an argument or a heated discussion and she disappears. Hours and days go by and she has not tried to reach out. You have called and texted her to apologize from your side but there is nothing coming from her end. If the relationship is important she would have called you already. You are becoming the punchline in her jokes. We all do silly things and have our quirks. But if she is sharing embarrassing details about you to get others laughing, that’s just cruel. You can’t remember the last time you had sex. Physical intimacy is almost non-existent nowadays. You kiss and touch each other less and less. It seems that she is never in the mood and is irritated when you try to get close. The communication is short but not sweet. Her emails and texts use to be really long messages filled with romantic words. Now she can barely write a sentence to you. What’s even more alarming is that when she does email, it lacks emotion. She always has her phone with her but she never gets back to you. Replying to a text about plans can take hours or days. She says she is too busy to answer. The weird part is that when her friends call and text, she responds immediately. She has no idea what you are up to and does not try to find out. It has not occurred to her to find out what you are up to. She has no idea if you are happy at work or when you are going out with the guys. She’s oblivious to your life. You are not included in her future plans. She mentions she has applied to various universities to do her masters in another city. But she never discussed this decision with you. She doesn’t even include you when she talks about her dreams and goals. She acts like she’s single, all the time. When she posts photos of your outings together, she crops you out. Her excuse every time is that you were making a funny, goofy face. Feeling like you are the last person on her list. It’s Friday evening and she just texted you about making plans at the last minute. This seems to be the only way you get together lately. Don’t stay quiet, speak up, and ask her directly. Stop guessing about the status of your relationship. Be honest about your feelings and ask her to do the same. You deserve an answer as to whether or not she wants a future with you.